A word about the title: The Art of Choosing Your Love. When we choose our love, we must love our choice. Loving is a responsibility that must be learned.

This is why Paul tells Titus that the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands (Titus 2:4).  Because love can be learned, it can also be unlearned and then relearned. Since love is learnable, every marriage is salvageable, no matter how great the shipwreck.

Thoughts From The Readers...

“My husband and I are home-school parents of two wonderful teens and youth pastors of 100 great junior and senior high school students. We purchased The Art of Choosing Your Love which we have read aloud to each other each evening. The godly wisdom and treatment of relationships helped us to seek forgiveness from each other and the Lord and to gain purpose for ourselves, our children, and our youth group."

“Thank you for your new book The Art of Choosing Your Love. It's even better than your previous book on courtship, and it meets a serious need within the church. I plan on assigning it to all my future students, and I've already given away three copies."

“My father gave me a copy of your study, The Art of Choosing Your Love, for Christmas and I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I read your previous study, Christian Courtship vs. The Dating Game, while taking some courses at Westminster Seminary (Escondido, California) and found it pleasantly radical."

“As a single man in a world where divorce is the norm, I find myself bouncing between being hyper-critical (and therefore hardly attempting to meet Christian women at all) and actively pursuing any breathing woman that professes to be a Christian. The Art of Choosing Your Love has given me a more balanced look at the necessary criteria for choosing a godly and virtuous woman to be my wife. And, I might add, it has enabled me to focus on a few aspects of my life that need shaping up."


Christians are to marry “only in the Lord” (I Cor. 7:39). Anything less is an “unequal yoke,” which means that a Christian marrying a non-Christian is more than a mismatch. Marriage to a non-Christian is religious apostasy (II Cor. 6:14ff).

Christian Courtship vs. The Dating Game examined the methodology of romance and courtship. This book focuses upon the qualifications for marriage. Some of the criteria involved may surprise the Christian who, perhaps, has a “Valentine's theology” about marital love.

This study is also designed for the Christian father who wants the very best for his daughter and who has the responsibility to assess the spiritual credentials of would-be suitors. Let us remember that it is the father who must “give” the bride (1 Cor. 7:38).

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